Yeah End List! (Part 3)

Hope everyone’s fully recovered from their hangovers because it’s time for list number three!:

Top Five Most Annoying Songs

5. “Red Solo Cup” by Toby Keith: I love parties and, by extension, songs about parties. Andrew W. K. would approve, I’m sure. But, even that love cannot save this terrible song that is, literally, about a plastic cup, albeit a lovably crimson one. And it’s sung by Toby Keith, the Michele Bachmann of country.

4. “Champagne Showers” by LMFAO: The geniuses behind the smash hit that made shufflin’ more popular than any zombie move ever could quickly followed up with this more sanguine video. The song is boring and obnoxious, with the only saving grace being fifteen seconds of bubbly carnage. While not the worst song in it’s own right, “Champagne Showers” should have been so much better. The let down was palpable.

3. Anything dubstep ever: Dubstep (especially of the “Brostep” variety) was everywhere this year. It seems every pop artist sold their soul to the wobble gods and there wasn’t a club or ‘party’ radio station that didn’t blast this stuff. I’ll admit that I’ve enjoyed some dubstep this year, but, like “The Middle” or Angry Birds, the oversaturation of the genre has ruined any more enjoyment I could have had. Cyanide and Happiness said it right.

2. “Hold it Against Me” by Britney Spears: Yes, I understand this is somewhat redundant with number 3, but this song was so bad that it deserved special recognition. I’ll start off by saying that, despite my general disdain for pop music, I am glad that Britney Spears is back with the (mostly) sane world and not off shaving her head. That said, “Hold it Against Me” is, chiefly, a song entirely about the worst pickup line known to man (scientific fact) and most of the lyrics are comprised of slightly-better-but-still-terrible lines. The club douchebags don’t need any help, Brit. And don’t even get me started on the music video with it’s rampant product placement, Lady Gaga wannabe fashion, and digitally enhanced boobage. Even the bosom isn’t safe from this monstrosity.

1. “Friday” by Rebecca Black: This one is a no brainer. This song of epic lyrics about eating cereal and choosing a seat in a car driven by a middle schooler was also the number one viewed video on YouTube. First week sales of the song topped 40,000 and it received extensive air time. Rebecca Black has become a celebrity, gone on tours, started a record label, and starred in a Katy Perry video. That the worst, most annoying song of the year is also one of the most successful exemplifies all that is wrong with pop culture. And, yes, I did catch myself singing that damn song in the shower.

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