Author Archives: ldartagnansfoil


As we scarfed down our chicken alfredo and readied ourselves for this evening’s adventures, Kendle and I realized that we somehow both forgot to post about the happenings tonight.  Though most of you already know from the facebook, we’ll repeat it here.  There will be an epic performance of Gnarwhal this evening at Mercury Bar to raise money for beer/bail in San Fran.  The festivities will include appearances by Substitoots and HEP fave: Coral Stabz.

If we haven’t said it enough or already, we are so psyched for you, Gnarwhal!  Go show those San Franciscans what you’re made of!  We’ll miss you all the way.  But I guess if we get our butts moving soon, we’ll get to tell you in person tonight.

See you there!

NaNoWriMo Hermits

While Kendle procrastinates on finishing our Halloween post (HEPpy Halloween) I’ve decided to do some procrastination of my own.  Though I should be diligently typing away at my novel, I’m here…diligently typing about my novel.

Oh, did we not mention that we’re writing novels?  That’s right, this month is National Novel Writing Month, commonly referred to as NaNoWriMo.  Over the course of the next 30 days, Kendle, I, and countless other literary geeks will be frantically writing our whimsical novels at the approximate speed of 1,667 words a day.

While Kendle is writing what promises to be a mind-bending sci-fi novel, I’ve taken it upon myself to fulfill a lifelong goal by composing a delectably cheesy romance novel.

If you’re not into writing but still want to keep tabs on the HEPsters while we attempt not to shirk our blogging duties in favor of our inevitable literary greatness, you can track our progress from your very own computer!  Follow me here and Kendle here.  If you want to participate and harass us into meeting our word-quotas, go to to create a profile and get cracking!

That’s just about enough procrastination for me.  Now back to that steamy bar scene…

Not Just Scenesters

I love Saturdays.  The cool, Hawaiian breeze through my kitchen.  The bitter coffee I can sip for hours on my patio with no worries of being late to work.  But no great Saturday is born without an equally fantabulous Friday night.  Whether you get off work and immediately hit one of your favorite bars where all the cool people go pau hana, or maybe you go home and listen to some relaxing music, you’ve gotta do something to get into the weekend swing.

After a terribly rough week of word search puzzles and arts and crafts, I decided that taking Kendle out for a juicy burger at Big City Diner (our new pad has one just down the street) was just the thing. With expectations only of salty fries and a cold beer, we were pleasantly surprised when we discovered that Friday night is live music night at BCD.  Cold ones in hand, we mellowed out to a kind of music we’ve heard very little of since moving to Oahu: traditional Hawaiian.

It’s not surprising, really.  Most of the HEPsters’ weekends are spent in ChiTo, grooving out to the vibrant stylings of our favorite local rock bands, or lying low at one of the less crowded beaches on the North Shore.  We don’t spend much time at tourist hotspots, not because of some deep seated protest on our parts, but because it’s hard to find time when you both have legit jobs and weekends are a precious time. So, it was a pleasant surprise to find ourselves swaying to the beat of a different drum on Friday night.

What it comes down to is that live music is live music, and live music is fantastic.  You forge a connection with the artists whether you want to or not; with ‘Ike Pono you don’t have much of a choice. Humorous, melodious, and hypnotic, the music of this local trio went from barbershop quartet to Hawaiian mariachi band to just plain relaxing over the course of a half hour.  During their intermission, the three band members, Stan, Bobby, and Michael, made the rounds and chatted up the patio crowd.  It was great to form a connection beyond the music and find out that we even had some things in common! It turns out that Stan used to be in the military, Bobby is a band director at a local school, and Michael is from Oregon. Small world.

Well, it’s time for me to get off the Intertubes and finish the saga that is our move to a new place.  Tonight, all will be rewarded with much music and madness at ChiTo’s Hallowbaloo where we’ve been told a bit of Discord & Rye/ Raised by Wolves will be going down at Hank’s.  Catch you there!

Obscure Movie Night

About a week ago, Kendle and I decided to celebrate all our hard work (found an apartment, worked on Winston the moped, and all the usual jazz) with a trip down to ChiTo for Monday Movie Night at Downbeat Diner.  With our Primo Big Braddahs in hand and a feast of the always delectable Downbeat fare, we were ready to hunker down for a night of old school thriller goodness (“The Exorcist”!).  Lucky for us, the Downbeat staff is just too cool for school and likes us enough to keep us in the loop.

After the usual howdy-do’s, the talented Miss Erica of Gnarwhal slapped down a copy of the HIFF directory and recommended we skip the Downbeat movie and roll on down to Dole Cannery for a flick about the current garage rock revival instead.  Just goes to show you that it pays to have friends in cool places.  What a night!

First we were disturbed and entertained by “Brick Novax’s Diary”, a short film featuring a terminally ill doll (watch the preview here).  This FoD (Funny or Die) tidbit actually won the Jury Prize in Short Filmmaking at Sundance.  Despite the total over-the-top vibe, or perhaps because of it, Kendle and I got a real kick out of Brick’s tale.

On to the meat!  The feature film, “NEW GARAGE EXPLOSION!!: IN LOVE WITH THESE TIMES” was a shift in gears from Barbies on shag carpets, but it had us both riveted within moments.  New to the scene myself (I’ve always been more well versed in big band and symphonic music) I came at this film with little or no expectations.  Though I’d heard the music of several of the featured bands, such as The Black Lips and Nobunny, everything else was new and oh so exciting.

From queercore to classic punk, I gobbled up as much musical jargon as I could while simultaneously basking in the close-up cinematography and good music.  Shiny records and grungy stages sparkled on the big screen and I gorged myself on popcorn until the last song was sung and the spell was broken. I may not be much of a movie critic…which is why the directors were smart enough to put their masterpiece on YouTube! So, watch it for yourselves, you hipsters.  You know you want to:

Lazy Days

W0w, we really have been slacking.  I, for one, have decided that it’s time  for a vacation and lucky for me, I get one! Next week, in fact.  You’ve gotta love all the extra school holidays that exist in Hawaii.

If Kendle and I had been on our A-game this week, we probably would’ve written about our amazing night at the Ong King Arts Center with Narwhal and Discord & Rye for Ramblin’ For Raegen.  As it stands, it only got a brief mention in my personal blog.

Look!  An octopus!

You can even see the little Starry Night-esque stars to the left!

Now look at a sea turlte!

Instead of blogging, Kendle and I went to the beach on Sunday!  And there were sea turtles! That’s a pretty good excuse, right?

And look at what a pretty day it was:

Ooooh, ocean!

(Looks for more pictures to make this post look somewhat more legit)

Oh, look!  It’s a happy Kendle:

Happy Wednesday!

PBR & Bacon

After a fun-filled night of excellent music and exquisitely cheap beer at this week’s Kaleidoscope, Kendle and I made our ritualistic stop at Downbeat Diner.  Drunk on the rebellious energy that Siblings inspired during their set, we decided to branch out from the mozzarella sticks and order the menu item that I’ve been lusting over for the past month: PBR & bacon.

(Note: This is the part of the post where I cue the angels’ singing.)

At around 432 calories (I’m glad we shared) and five trillion grams of awesomeness, I’m not sure I can handle this “snack” after every outing.  But that doesn’t mean I won’t want to.  Imagine a salted, oily, crunchy stick of delicious fried meat being washed down by the enhanced water that is Pabst Blue Ribbon.  Now that you’ve imagined it just tell me you don’t want to immediately pop down to Downbeat and make that dream come true.  I wonder if the founders of Pabst Brewing Co. back in 1844 could have fathomed that a) their beer would not only win a blue ribbon but b) would also become a part of this heavenly combination.

Not only was it an amazing mouth-experience, but apparently this combination of cheap beer and fried pork makes Kendle and I (brace yourselves) double hipsters.  DUN DUN DAAAAAAAH.  That’s right.  According to Mr. Brendon David of, “This new found affinity for a fatty, salty strip of pork is akin to hipsters ordering PBR at the Ye Olde Hipster bar in the city of your choice.”  And you know what this HEPster has to say about that?  Call me whatever you want, just give me more PBR and bacon.

P.S. I am tempted to write to Pabst Brewing Co. and submit this heavenly combo to their Drink & Draw PBR Art Gallery.

Mellow Caffeine Buzz

I’m writing this from what has become one of my favorite places to hang out on the North Shore with Kendle: Coffee Gallery.  Maybe it’s just the Portlander in me, but there’s little that I enjoy more than filling a cloudy afternoon with deliciously complex coffee and a good book, and this Hale’iwa coffee shop seems to be the perfect place to do it.  Under the burlap ceiling or palm umbrellas, I simultaneously feel at peace with my inner Pacific-Northwesterner and a sense of belonging on this island in the middle of the sea…whew, that’s some pretty strong coffee.

In Hale’iwa (pronounced Hah-lay-eeh-vah for the off-island readers), there’s no rush, no bustle.  Though Hawaii obviously isn’t known for its fast-paced lifestyle, there is something profoundly relaxing about leaving Honolulu’s city streets behind and popping up to North Shore where there’s nothing  but your swim suit, slippers and the direction of the breeze to worry about.  What better backdrop for a cafe? Even the Philosophes of Enlightenment Europe would have been pressed to find a better spot for their caffeinated antics. I guess they had Paris…

The two vibrantly colored lizards who had been chilling out on my table  have gone into hiding somewhere on the lush patio where I’ve taken up residence with my notebook and cappuccino.   Perhaps, lured by the bitter smell of roasting coffee wafting from the cafe proper, they’ve ventured back inside in search of a taste.  After a sip of Kendle’s cup of cream and sugared Haleiwa Blend, I’m tempted to follow them in for a refill of my own.

Locals and tourists alike populate the funky interior of this coffee shop, all of us in search of the same buzz; a jolt to combat the siren’s song of the Hawaiian sun and our imminent afternoon naps.  The delectable macaroons and “world famous carrot cake” sold here don’t exactly help, but they sure hit the spot.  And though I haven’t had a chance to try the exotic healthfoods advertised on their bilingual chalkboard menus, my mouth is watering a just the thought of “pineapple vegetarian chili”. Perhaps that’s an adventure for another afternoon. For now, I’m satisfied with the bag of their signature blend that Kendle and I are taking home in hopes of recreating a little bit of this magic tomorrow morning.